Do you feel like when talking to your partner, you talking to a brickwall? Are there things you argue about and find no resolution? That means you are experiencing what is know as gridlock.
For me the best way to avoid gridlock is to acknowledge that this certain thing is annoying me and making my life miserable first. After I have acknowledged that I try talking about it with my partner and if the response was not productive, I pray about it. Praying about what is bothering me and just inviting the Lord to intervene has been working best for me. My prayer would be as specific as possible. In most cases I feel like when I do that the Lord is in a better position for helping me with whatever I was feeling, because He knows my partner better. Sometimes I would pray for what my partner is not doing right, but the Lord would answer by taming me for him rather than fixing the problem with my partner.
The central message of Gottman's book is making sure what couples go through is normal and that there are ways to solve any problem. Before I read the book I used to think that my marriage was the worst and also the fact that what i used to feel about my partner is out of this world. When I read the book, I was so relieved to know that I am not the only one facing what I am facing. Also the fact that there are ways to deal with the challenges of marriage. There would be moments where I would feel lonely and not in the mood for talking to anyone about what I was feeling, but whenever I read the book I would feel so much at ease.
The central message of Goddard's book is inviting the Lord more into our marriages. I remember when I was preparing for temple sealing, I was advised to never sideline the Lord in my marriage. They were right. Doing the things of the Lord as a married couple does not only bring the couple closer to the Lord but also help the couple to more closer to one another. The gospel blesses us in so many ways. When the Spirit of the Lord resides in each family, marriage, relationship all things fall into place. It does not mean the challenges will not be there but He will surely bring the tranquility and charity.
I suggest you invest in buying these books, as they will help bring peace in your lives and families. As they did to mine.
Piwe
This is very informative , communication is crucial in marriage, communication is not speaking but an exchange of understanding, we can talk all we want, we must ensure an exchange of understanding takes place.
ReplyDeleteWe must not apportion blame, but talk in a spirit of humility and love. The Lord is near when we prize him as The Partner in our marriages.
We must never try to change our partners, agency is sacred. Let them have an encounter with the Atonement!